I went to a wedding this weekend. It was outside under very tall trees. They served drinks out of a vintage trailer. I caught the bouquet! It came right to me and never hit the ground. The music was really loud so we smiled at each other, danced a little, and leaned in close to […]
Category: Lifestyle
Sleepover
I’ve been sleeping on couches recently. Family couches and friend couches. Usually someone offers me a bed or an inflatable mattress at least. But still I choose the couch. I like the chance, when I get it, to fall asleep in the middle of something. I like falling asleep to the gentle voices of other […]
Sleep patterns
I am not a back sleeper but for two months I slept like a corpse. On my back, arms crossed. If I needed to change things up maybe I would cross my legs at the ankles. It came surprisingly naturally to me. Maybe because I was so tired or maybe because we somehow find a […]
Pain scale
The doctors want to know: what’s your pain on a scale of one to ten? So you try to calibrate your scale. Nine and ten are unspeakable. Seven and eight, numbers you might actually use if you felt like you were dying. Like the time you got mono and strep at the same time in […]
Horcrux
I asked a lot of questions at my first post-op. Can I hike? Can I swim? Can I ride my bike inside? The answers: sure, tentatively yes, actually I would just wait. No bikes, no scooters, no skateboarding. (I’m flattered that I look like someone who skateboards.) Let your scar fully heal. Just don’t fall. […]
Webs
When I leave my bedroom in the morning I walk through a spiderweb. I try to pull it off of my body as if it’s a hair that can be snatched up and discarded. But it’s not a hair and I can’t quite grab it so it lingers and eventually dissolves. During the day I […]
A quarantine compromise
There are four of us in our apartment. When the pandemic hit, one of us went to live with his girlfriend. That left three. One, a hypochondriac (and I mean that in the best way possible). Two, a public health professionial. And three, a classic American turd (that’s me). One and two were pretty into […]
Hi meet your new basic girl
Maybe you are familiar with the term “basic” which is derived from “basic bitch” which refers to women who are, um, basic? Look, I really am not the expert on this but I think it’s like, mani-pedi, Madewell jeans, what did I miss on the bachelor, like my hair? gee thanks, just bought it, I’ll […]
Fresh cut
The other day a woman in a coffee shop told me that she liked my hair. I smiled at her but I also smiled to myself because earlier that day I’d been cursing my hair. It’s been falling out, you see, and I’ve been down about it. But–the fact that my hair is falling out […]
Crazy girl/cool girl
About a month ago I was waiting at a bus stop around 10pm. The street was mostly dark and residential except for a bodega which was bright enough to light up even the sidewalk outside. And in one of the sidewalk squares of light was a woman, face tilted up towards the apartment over the […]
