The bike hug (for reference)

I thought I wrote a post about this a long long time ago, but actually I did not. The bike hug: a very slow bike crash that results in something more like a hug than an injury. Example:

One day, in a far away land a long time ago. (Crown Heights! Last year!) I was riding my bike to a friend’s house after work. I was going very slowly because it was a slight uphill (also I ride pretty slowly as a commuter maybe we can ride together one day and I’ll show you how slow). A man stepped out between two parked cars. He was preparing to jaywalk. I saw him and he saw me. He was far enough ahead of me that he had time to cross before I got there so I just continued at my slow pace and he stepped into the street.

But then (plot twist!) he stopped and back tracked to the side of the street. I guess he changed his mind. Anyway I just continued at my snail’s pace up the hill.

But wait (another plot twist!) the man stepped out into the street again and: Squish. (It wasn’t a bam because we didn’t bam, we squished.) Our bodies touched. The man was still standing. I was still on my bike. The man kindly apologized and I laughed because that was the dumbest thing ever.

There you have it: the bike hug.