blog

some ideas

Devotion

It’s more than work. More than sacrifice. It is like dedication, but with a prayer. It’s something spiritual. I don’t think you can be devoted to quantifiable things. Like, you can’t be devoted to grad school. Because how grad school works is you pay money, take tests and then you get a degree. But I […]

Normal

My parents got to see my new tattoos this weekend which went better than I expected actually. My mom told me not to get anymore to which I said I can do whatever I want to which my mom laughed. It was later when I said I had to leave for therapy that my mom […]

Leave no trace

What Annie Dillard has to say about how to learn to write: By “ruining [the page], but asserting your freedom and power to act, acknowledging that you ruin everything you touch but touching it nevertheless, because acting is better than being here in mere opacity.” ******* I went to the Utah backcountry last week with […]

Dedication

A María David, bárbara del desierto, que mantuvo la fe cuando otros la perdían. I like this dedication. I like the name María David. For a long time and still and in many places (including the US) women’s names are qualified by men’s names to equate possession or belonging. I don’t like that. But I […]

Boomerang

Yesterday Denver was warm. I took off my jacket and my buff and my sweatshirt til I was down to my tshirt and jeans and still my face was flushed when we closed the shop at 5pm. A few hours later and a few thousand feet higher all the layers were back on. Snow dissolved […]

Sibling rivalry

I think this is the story. But it’s a story from when I was a kid so it could be wrong. But I think this is the story: We were on a raft in the Snake River in Wyoming. Mom, Dad, Bill, Nick and me. There was a raft guide and some nondescript strangers. The […]

Mexico

Every morning a group of boys probably between the ages of nine and thirteen showed up at the beach on a fancy golf cart with off-road wheels. Four or five of them crammed themselves in and held on to the back and held on to their surfboards when they left for the day. I’m pretty […]

Narcissa

Me: I think I got lovebombed. I didn’t know what that was until after but I guess it’s a thing that has a name.Therapist: Did the person you were dating have qualities of a narcissist?Me: What?! I don’t know! What are the qualities of a narcissist? Was I dating a narcissist?!Therapist: Lovebombing can be a […]